


Admit it, You Love Him!

by thatdragonchic



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alby and Minho are great best friends to Newt, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Newt, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Frypan and Winston are good best friends to Thomas, Gen, Healing, Humor, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Mutual Pining, Newt gets cheated on, Newt is in med school, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Thomas is a college senior, Winston is Arab Af, also there is one sex scene and it's not the most graphic thing, but its there, implied versatile newt, its a little bit of everything, newtmas - Freeform, newtmas ends up together, see? lil bit of everything, shennanigans, skip if you want?, tbh, they worked at a summer camp together, this FIC IS ABOUT MUTUAL LOVE AND SUPPORT, thomas loves newt, top Thomas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 12:02:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14496555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdragonchic/pseuds/thatdragonchic
Summary: Everybody has a great story to tell, and well, This is Newts Great Love Story.---Newt has been tied up in a toxic relationship with Nate for 3 years, and he's sort of reached the end of his line. 5 months into attempting to piece together the relationship they never really had, Newt finds himself repressing feelings for his coworker Thomas, and feeling more and more aggrevated at Nate as the days go by. So when Nate leaves to study abroad, Newt finds himself filling the lonely spaces with Thomas.Of course, Alby and Minho are more than supportive of their best friend finding a healthy, loving relationship. Though Newt isn't quite ready to let go, holding onto the belief that maybe things will change. Except Thomas is perfect, and Nate just seems to grow more and more distant as Thomas gets closer and closer to him.Newt can only stand being used for so long, and one night he decides he's had enough, and this is where his great love story truly begins.





	Admit it, You Love Him!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fansarewaiting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fansarewaiting/gifts).



> Hey guys! This took me just under a week to write, and I really am so proud of the love story I've put together here?? This was just a simple idea that I felt would make a better fic than a plot, because I didn't quite know how to word it.  
> CONGRATULATIONS TO CHLOE WHO FINALLY FINISHED HER BIGGEST EXAM! I am so proud of you love, you don't even know. I really hope this was worth the wait and that you like reading it as much as I liked writing it!  
> ALSO thank you to Jo who read this over and just supports all my stupid shit no matter what, she is honestly, my support beam and I really don't think I would have finished writing this or even posted it if she hadn't read it over first and reassured me that it was not as bad as I thought it was.

Kisses on his neck, his head tilts back with a maritime sort of bliss. A steady, wave like pull of sighs and gasps as his body is valued. Newt thinks he'll miss Nate’s company when he leaves to study abroad. Hawaii to be exact, hours behind them and Newt isn't fully sure how he'll stand it. Mostly because the past 5 months have been good, have held solid for the two of them. 

Things had been  _ good _ . That’s what he believes. That’s what he’s trying to convince himself, because he can’t quite seem to escape Nate, and nobody he’s dated in between has ever, well… liked him enough, and he’s never liked them enough. Part of his heart always stayed, there in Nate’s hands, and every time his heart was shattered like glass pieces on the floor. Which inevitably left Newt to piece it back together, scrambling to glue his parts to his whole all over again, wallowing. 

Newt knew that Alby and Minho were more than a little sick of it, but Newt felt psychopathic with this tendency to keep being drawn to Nate. To keep letting him back in, dreamily wondering if maybe he’s the  _ one  _ and cutting excuses that Nate just needs  _ time  _ and that he needs to get his shit together, that he will get his shit together. This study abroad trip to Hawaii will be perfect, even. That he needs to breathe new air. Newt wants to believe that new air won’t mean a new lover, a secret lover to replace Newt while Newt is all these miles away. He holds steadfast in his belief that this time, this time, things are going to work. 

Nate begged, Nate pleaded, he made promises, he cried way too much and way too convincingly for it to be fake, that he needed Newt, that he  _ loved  _ Newt and Newt caved. He couldn’t say no, he couldn’t turn Nate away.

“Promise me you’ll call every day?” Newt whispers.

“In a perfect realistic world where our schedules fit together, I would.”

Newt bites his lip, and he considers if maybe their schedules did fit, but Nate just never wanted to call him, then he nods and smiles. “Every other day.”

“Reasonable. I’ll snap chat you.”

“And you’ll tell me everything?”

“I promise. No secrets, you can trust me.”

“You mean it?”

“Have I ever given you any reason to doubt me?”

_ Yes  _ Newt thinks, because even though Nate has never… explicitly cheated on him, there always seemed to be…. Others. Others that held Nate’s attention. Nate chalked it up to Newt being paranoid. To Newt thinking too much about others, not just them. That Newt was too in his own head, too into demonizing others. That Newt had to stop ‘thrusting his trust issues’ onto Nate, because Nate would  _ never _ . (But after they broke up, he’d end up in bed or on dates with those same people Newt didn’t like.) “No,” He says softly, smiling kinda tight. “I just… I want things to work out for you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, babe… I just… you said you were struggling. This will do you good.”

“Yeah, maybe I’ll find something there.”

“You will… I think you will,” Newt whispers. “And we can make a life… together. Maybe move to Hawaii,” Newt adds reluctantly. He can’t really…  _ see  _ a life with Nate… and okay, see he had a bit of a dirty secret of his own, something he’s been keeping down under; mostly because he could see his life with Nate, if things could just work themselves out.

“Hm… you’d like an ocean view. You’ve always been stupidly romantic like that.”

“Hm… I guess,” Newt agrees and leans up to kiss Nate before pulling away. “I have to get ready and go.”

“Go? Go where?”

“Uhm… to my summer camp thing, remember? I’m a counsellor.”

“Oh right,” Nate acknowledges vaguely. Newt sighs softly and smiles tight. “You want me to make you coffee or something?”

Newt knows that Nate wants him to say no, he shakes his head. “I’ll buy myself some on the way.” It’s easier to grab 2 iced coffees without Nate knowing when he buys it anyways. See… he has a  _ friend  _ who is dangerously beautiful, and well… Nate doesn’t have to know. If Nate can admire other boys from afar, well he can admire boys too. He’s just less obvious about it.

“Sure. I’m going back to sleep.”

“Sure, are you planning on staying long?” Newt asks, itching to tell Nate he has to leave. 

“Why…?”

“No, just wondering. The cleaning lady I hired is coming in today and-”

“Right, because you’re part of your rich clique-”

“I make enough to support myself  _ and  _ you sometimes, so-”

“Your friends are all pretentious fucks. Just admit it.”

“I’m not having this conversation,” Newt says. “Just because I got a high paying job-”

“And your  _ daddy _ pays your rent-”

“He does not!”

“God nursing doesn’t pay that much-”

“It does when all I do is nursing in hospitals and paid research- and for the whole summer, I’ve done this counselling job! Frankly, two paychecks offers a lot. Growing up high society didn’t ensure any of us a real chance, okay? Minho got lucky, Alby got lucky, I got lucky. But it wasn’t just luck, we all worked hard. Okay? This is my fifth year schooling, my dad pays my tuition, which is very generous of him, but I’m not bumming off people-”

“I support myself!”

“Just barely sometimes!” Newt yells, grabbing his cigarettes. “God I hope your calling is in Hawaii, so you can stop demonizing me-”

“There you go again, pretending like I’m-”

“You are! You  _ are _ ! Listen, go back to sleep, I don’t really care, I just-” Newt pulls off his shirt and pulls on his counselor t shirt and grabs his jeans. 

“What? Changing in the bathroom? As if I haven’t seen you naked?”

“Seeing me naked during sex is totally different, and frankly I’m not going to give you that kind of time today.”

“Sam’s mad-”

“Don’t  _ call  _ me that,” Newt bites.

“You’re overreacting. You know what, I’m going to leave.”

“Yeah? Where are you going exactly?”

“My place.”

“Whatever, leave,” Newt huffs, brow raising as Nate takes his arm, and he gives him those eyes and Newt looks away. “No, we’re done talking.”

“Oh, stop.”

“Stop what?”

“You know what, Newt. Can’t our last day together just be good?”

“I’ll see you at your goodbye dinner tonight.”

“That’s it?” 

Newt kisses him quick. “I’m just overreacting, I promise I’ll be in a better mood tonight,” Newt excuses. Nate grabs him and kisses Newt more deeply, Newt falling sway to his stupid charm. They part and Newt gestures for Nate to leave.

“Love you,” Nate whispers. 

“Love you too. Now please, go, I really have to get ready.”

\---

Thomas adjusts in his chair, smiling at one of the kids as they talk; he was a senior in college now, his last year as a Calculus Education major. He hugs his leg, checking his watch; Newt was running late it seemed, which was typical of him when his boyfriend was over. Thomas worried about him sometimes, about how Newt always seemed…  _ reluctant  _ about his relationship. And okay, maybe he sort of liked Newt, in a romantic way, but Newt was ever faithful, and he doesn’t want to insert himself where he clearly doesn’t belong. 

Though the longer he knows Newt, the more fond of the British blond he grows. 

Which, speaking of, Newt comes in, leisurely with some of the kids from his group and shakes Thomas’ iced coffee before handing it to him and they share a smile. “Is it the right one this time?” Thomas teases.

“It’s the right one every time, you’ve just got shit taste buds.” 

“Geez, good morning to you too.”

Newt rolls his eyes. “I’m in  _ no  _ mood for another fight.”

“Another?” Thomas asks.

“I’ll tell you later,” Newt promises.

They did that, they had this easy dialogue, and Newt often confided in him when the kids weren’t around, busy doing other things, or flirting with each other, or whatever it was teenagers did now. Tweet or whatever. Thomas nods, and he feels his chest tighten as Newt winks and saunters off, pulling himself up to sit on the rafters and gather his group to start his course for the day. Thomas soon enough does the same. 

He taps his pen as he lets them settle into the room next door on the mats, the small cliques that have formed sticking together. He remembers when his life was that simple, when he wasn’t 22 and desperately trying to piece his life together before graduating in…. What? 10 ish months? (he’s a calculus major, counting months should be easy but… no it wasn’t. It really wasn’t, and he’d minored in business, with the hopes of opening up his dream coffee shop in New York City. Alas, here he was, still dreaming. The closer the future came, the more scared of it he was, the harder it was to count the months.) And god, when he was 17, he knew exactly what he wanted. What he wouldn’t do to be 17 again. To know what he wants again. 

Now he just really wanted to find a stable job, and he’s pretty sure he wants to kiss Newt. Not that he wasn’t working, he was, just not as like a teacher or anything- he was a Salesperson at H&M and god did he hate it. Like all the time. People were so irredeemably shitty sometimes, and the people who went there were pretentious shits. His managers were shitty, the whole job was just shitty. And it didn’t pay great. He also worked here, and it paid really well, and he got to do something he loved (teaching), and he got to oggle Newt, who was gorgeous all the time. Always worth ogling. It was just a miserable transition, but he wasn’t looking to quit until he was sure he had a stable place to go. A good job. 

He’d applied to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's, both very nicely paying food companies, he also applied to a few coffee shops in the hope he could get back into practice. He’d considered bartending but also, he hates being in bars to begin with. Bartending just seemed like more of a nightmare than anything. 

Once the kids are set, he slips out into the hall and meets Newt halfway, sipping his coffee. “What’s the scoop?” He asks, casually leaning against the window ledge, and Newt rolls his eyes.

“My boyfriend just- he’s dragging my every nerve. You know?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I just- I work really hard and I’m starting med school soon and he doesn’t appreciate that. He doesn’t appreciate anything I do for him and then he goes on and tells me like- oh well  _ you’re just rich, your dad pays for your lifestyle _ . As if I don’t work three jobs. He grew up in rich society too, and well, he flaked. Okay? That’s the hard truth. I didn’t flake, he did, and he- he’s so frustrating!”

“I thought you said things were going good?” Thomas queries carefully.

“They are just- I’m sort of sick of being the bad guy for being able to support myself. And I’m not- I don’t mean that in a bad way, I know I got lucky, and I know that part of my burden is removed because my dad took up my tuition, and I know I’m privileged in some ways just- he had all the same leverages as me. He does, and I got places, and he didn’t. And I just- I want him to be steady, you know?”

“Is that what the fight was about?”

“Yeah sort of.” Newt chews at his straw insecurely, letting Thomas approach him, hand gently resting on his arm, his fractured honey eyes gazing deep into his own (and  _ wow  _ Newt did not know his breath could be stolen like this.) 

“If you really… care about him, if you really want it to work and he does too, you guys will make things work. He’ll find himself out.”

Newt smiles softly, and he wants to rush forward and shut the gap between them, Thomas feels it too, this pull to kiss him but they both step back, cheeks a bit rosy. “Uhm… thanks, Tommy. I should get back before they ‘at’ each other to death or something.”

“Are we old? Does not understanding them make us old?”

Newt laughs, and shrugs. “I don’t know, I don’t tweet. But like… Donald Trump tweets… so maybe we’re like, some sort of counterculture. The unconnected millennial.”

“Facebook whores.”

“Instagram whore,” Newt corrects. “And snapchat, I love snapchat.”

“The cute filters,” Thomas teases and Newt giggles.

“How gorgeous I look with little hearts around my hair, how flawless my skin looks.”

“I make a great puppy,” Thomas admits.

“I can see that, you have puppy eyes.”

“Yeah, my mom says it’s my greatest asset. Puppy eyed my way through life.”

Newt shakes his head, smiling affectionately before he’s disappearing back into his classroom and Thomas waits by his door, just for a moment before entering again. A bit dazed. He smiles to himself, and he thinks maybe, just maybe, he had a chance with Newt.  _ Maybe _ . 

\---

Maybe’s dissolve into nothings as Newt is dressed nicely, at dinner with Nate’s no good friends, and smiles charmingly. He remains mostly beside Nate, and he recognizes one of the guys there as an ex lover of Nate’s, one he still talked to. Frequently. Newt wasn’t really jealous, in fact he even sort of liked the guy, he just didn’t like that he was there, hogging Nate’s attention. Nate had  _ insisted  _ Newt come tonight, on making this stupid party, instead of them just going out to breakfast before he left tomorrow. 

Newt also knows he’s too much of a sucker for Nate to ever really say no. So he smiles through it, and when everybody is gone, and Nate’s roommate had retired to his bedroom, Newt ends up in Nate’s bed, legs draped over Nates hips as he kisses along his neck, marking Nate’s flesh purple, as if to remind him that regardless of the pain, they only belonged to each other. That what they had would defy whatever issue it was they faced, whatever pain they pushed through together. Newt wants to believe it’s them against the issue, not them against each other. Newt wants to hold on to what little sanity he has left, what little naivety remains inside him. He’s 23 and exhausted. 

And maybe it’s a thought he shouldn’t have, but at this point, he might just be in Nate’s bed to take his pleasure and go. That maybe watching Nate ride him was more fun than actually dating Nate, and maybe he wouldn’t miss Nate as much as he thought he would. Maybe it was all just a ruse in his head, to cling onto the belief that love was real and he would make it. 

They say their goodbyes before Newt leaves that same night. 

“You’ll be fine,” Newt assures.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll make something of myself to meet your standards.”

“Maybe,” Newt agrees, smiling half heartedly before kissing Nate’s cheek. “Call me when you get there.”

“Yeah, don’t forget to answer.”

“I never do, you just forget to call.”

“I’ll call.”

Newt nods, and grabs his coat, he thinks that he couldn’t just be in it for the sex because he’s had better sex before and staying for shitty sex was a shitty reason to stay at all. They had to mean something, didn’t they? Newt would miss him, come tomorrow afternoon, when Nate can’t text him because he’s on a plane. At least, he thinks he’ll miss him. It’s easy to pretend that things are going good, when really they just fight less than they used to and Nate will take him out to dinner more than once a month. 

\---

Minho adjusts in his seat at the outdoor table, sunglasses on. Nate had been gone almost 2 months now, he can see his friend getting antsy. Overall. Its nearing October and Newts chewing his lip.

“So… I dunno… has he been posting on snapchat for you?”

“What?” Minho asks.

“Just… he  _ was  _ posting all the time but now it's…. like he's not and he hardly tells me things now. Or calls.”

“So you don't trust him?” Minho asks and he watches Newt struggle. 

“I… I don't know. We keep doing this, I’m so sick of dancing around.”

“So leave him,” Minho says. “You’re too caught up in this fantasy of what you and Nate could be, but all you two do is fight and fuck each other. You’re missing out what’s probably right in front of you.”

“Which is…?”

“That Thomas guy.”

“What?”

“You  _ like  _ him.”

“Barely, Min…”

“No, you like him. He’s always over, you guys flirt with each other like no tomorrow. Don’t you think you could have something better than this?  _ Deserve  _ something better?”

“Nate promised he would try… that we could… I don’t know, have a life together. That things would change-”

“Have they changed?”

“He promised they would,” Newt says helplessly. “And I’m not… crushes are normal, and just because Thomas is pretty doesn’t mean I should run to him, and leave Nate because he won’t text me back.”

“Why he won’t text you back though…” 

“I don’t know that it’s… another person.”

They both thank the waitress as they receive their lunch and Newt shrugs, helplessly. Minho is upset by how worn out Newt is, he wants nothing more but to give his friend some hope, or take all his pain. If he could personally clock Nate in the face, he would, but Newt would sort of hate him for it, so he doesn’t. Minho takes his spoon to start on his Curry chicken and watches as Newt personally struggles with something that’s popped up on his phone. Newt pockets his phone, and just sits back a moment.

“I hate that I have this weird feeling he’s lying to me.”

“Hey, we should totally go see that new Marvel movie,” Minho begins, because the least he could do is get Newt away from the situation for a while. 

\---

Newt texts him first. Thomas feels a pang of joy hit his heart as he reads  _ wanna go to a movie later with me and some friends?  _ So it obviously wasn’t a date, and Newt was still ridiculously dedicated to this guy, but Thomas felt like Newt liked him too maybe… that if Newt wanted him to go out with them, maybe he trusted Thomas. Maybe it was like… a mock date. Maybe he finally left Nate. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

“You just lit up like a christmas tree,” Winston points out, Frypan glancing up from his sketchpad and laughing.

“Y’all know he got a text from his grad school boyfriend,” Fry calls out. 

“He’s not my  _ boyfriend _ . He doesn’t even like me back.”

“So you mean to tell me you’re always alone with this guy who is also into guys, and he has never once kissed you, or sat on your lap?” Winston asks disbelieving.

“ _ No  _ he hasn’t. He has a boyfriend, we all remember that right?”

“A boyfriend who’s in like, what? Honolulu or something,” Frypan adds in. “A boyfriend who you said he clearly doesn’t like.”

“No he just- stresses Newt out. I don’t know! We’re not dating. I mean- we’re dating in my head but that’s about where it ends.”

All his friends snort, looking to Thomas with knowing glances and he slumps in his chair. “He isn’t going to date me, but I can pretend.”

“God, I can’t wait for this guy to get with you so we can all say we told you so,” Frypan decides and Winston and Aris nod and throw in their agreements, causing Thomas to roll his eyes. He sort of forgot Aris was there, because he gets so quiet, but he was now aware of his presence, and it strikes him that Aris is actually very close to Newt’s sister.

“Don’t tell Sonya.”

“Me?”

“Yes you.”

Aris laughs. “I won’t mention a word.”

It sort of scared Thomas that he really knew nothing about this kid sometimes. He hardly ever said anything, but he was overall a nice, good friend to have. He thinks for a moment before texting back,  _ yeah I’d love to….  _

_ Newt: Good! Dress nice, it’s a prescreening for people with money and well- we’ve got money and you’re invited ;)  _

_ Thomas: I don’t have money though??? _

_ Newt: You’re rich with personality and goodness _

_ Thomas: was that??? A sweet thing you just said???? I’m shocked _

_ Newt: oh stop _

_ Newt: I’ll pick you up Thursday night at 5.30 we’re going to dinner first! _

_ Thomas: how much should I account on spending? _

_ Newt: dinner’s covered, we’re eating at Alby’s restaurant in Manhattan and he’d fall over dead if I told him you wanted to pay for a meal _

_ Thomas: I don’t know him either though, Newt _

_ Newt: my friends think you’re some god send, don’t worry _

Thomas looks up from his phone, head tilting with a small smile. “What?” Winston asks.

“He talks about me… to his friends,” Thomas notes.

Winston scoffs. “Wallah,” he says in mockery. They’ve come to find the arabic word, in jest, meant  _ seriously?  _

“For real, he said his friends think I’m a god send, and I’ve only met Minho in passing and I’ve never met Alby, so-”

“He talks about you,” Winston finishes sweetly, making a cute face at Frypan. They nod awed, as if Thomas was their son in love. 

_ Newt: Tommy don’t worry about it really, I’ll take good care of you  _

Thomas blushes at the text before responding. 

_ I trust you  _

_ See you thursday night.  _

\---

Newt’s ironing when Thomas calls, and he answers, smiling as he says, “Hey you, what’s going on?” 

“What am I supposed to wear?” Thomas asks, obviously frantic. He can almost see Thomas half dressed, smoking a cigarette, clothes scattered, a silk button up crumpled between the fingers not balancing the cigarette. 

“I dunno… what do you have to wear?”

“What kind of nice is nice? I’m not rich, I’ve never done this before!”

Newt laughs. “Relax, wear that grey button up you wore to your interview in september with black pants and call it a day. Dress shoes, too, by the way. In case you were considering wearing your adidas with your slacks.”

“Hey! I wouldn’t do that…” Thomas pauses on the other end. “Yes I would, actually, thank you for stopping me.”

“Haven’t actually stopped you if you forget and still do it.”

“Well I won’t forget.”

Newt smiles, feeling a bit safer, on a general scale, with Thomas on the other end of the phone. He made this great big world feel so much more secure than it actually was. He was playing a very dangerous game, and with Nate so far away, it was easy to feel lonelier than he normally did. Thomas was revolution inside of Newt, an uproar of butterflies and anxiety, and he didn’t even know if Thomas felt the same. 

“I’ll see you in about thirty minutes?”

“Unless I materialize into the carpets, yes?”

“Bye, Tommy,” Newt cooes.

“Byyyee Newtie,” Thomas teases and Newt rolls his eyes, a warm glow filling the cavities of his chest. He hangs up to see Nate has snapchatted him, an awfully handsome other guy beside him. He couldn’t really tell where they were or what they were doing. Newt snaps a pic back, captioned ‘who’s that? New friend?’ 

When Nate doesn’t respond in the next five minutes he starts to get ready, sighing. He picks up his clothes and folds them, puts them away. Sits on the couch and looks through his most recent messages with Nate.  _ Text you later, I’m busy babe.  _

_ Sorry Newt, I can’t talk rn _

_ Wow it’s late and I’m too drunk, kinda miss you.  _

Newt hates how forced some of them sound. 

_ Newt I’ll text you later _

_ Don’t worry what I’m up to _

_ I’m just up to new things, that’s all. Don’t worry about it.  _

Searching his instagram for answers, he can’t seem to pinpoint anything, other than he hasn’t updated his story in a while. On snapchat too. Newt chews his lip, wondering if maybe he was blocked from his story. If maybe… no, Nate  _ promised.  _ Promised it’d be better. He was trying to build himself up. He was trying to work things out for them. (Newt forgets when he needed things worked out- he had a perfectly good life here. Was he really going to uproot himself to Honolulu in the case that things work out for Nate there?) 

Newt sighs and leans back into his couch, arm over his stomach for a moment. He glances around and he wonders if he genuinely would leave for Nate. His heart beats the word  _ no  _ like a prayer. 

\---

Alby couldn't help but narrow his eyes at his friends as they entertained Thomas. See, he and Minho could see right through Newt, so when Newt’s switch flickers between loving and repressing, he noticed. He noticed how Newt fidgeted with his phone. When his phone rings, how he presses a tight smile, the  _ sorry  _ he provides Thomas. Not them, just Thomas. 

“I'll be right back,” Newt promises. The three nod and Minho settles in his chair, leaning forward a bit.

“So what do you do?”

“Oh well… right now just retail-”

“How often do you work?”

“Uhm…? 5 times a week usually.”

“Good. You into business?”

“Actually I wanted to open a small corner cafe here in the city, like with books.”

“ _ Books _ ?” Alby asks.

“Yeah, books. Read and drink coffee, or tea. You know? Or just do works. It’s supposed to feel like… niche, comfortable, like a secret space.”

Alby nods. “Bet I’d go to yours for coffee, you seem cool.”

Thomas lights up. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not? Minho’s just tough, likes to make sure Newt’s in with the right crowd of people. He has a tendency to… cash into the wrong people.”

Minho rolls his eyes, and Thomas doesn’t think he’s allowed to say it, but he knows they mean Nate. “So, how are you going to pay for it?” Minho asks. “If you’re interested, you could come down and work at my tech company.” 

“Oh well… I don’t know if I’m much of a  _ tech  _ guy, I’m a calculus major. My plan was like- you know- be a teacher, and probably a coach, and save up as much as I could before launching the idea.”

“Got a girl or anything?”

“Me? No… uh… I had a long term relationship and well, that just went to shit. She was- she was the kind of person who wanted everything to fit her ideals, and I guess I’m not ideal?” Thomas clears his throat. “Sorry, I kind of feel like I’m being interrogated.”

“Minho, let off,” Alby says calmly, taking a bite of the pasta he’d made himself. “The meal good?”

“The meal is really good. You made all this?”

“Oh I help as much as I can in the kitchen, but you’ve gotta be a part of your own atmosphere. You know? I walk around, I talk to people, greet people. Learned everything I knew from my pops really.”

Thomas nods and he’s about to say something as Newt returns, his mood tampered. “You okay?” Thomas asks, instantly. His cheeks rose in color as Newt smiles soft. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” He says. “Forget it, we’re here to have fun. It’s no problem,” he continues dismissing.

“You’re sure?”

Alby has to narrow his eyes  _ again  _ because Newt says a lot about there being nothing between them, but there’s an easy source of affection between them. Newt lays a reassuring hand on Thomas’ arm before resettling into his chair. 

“Could we get any wine?” Newt asks and Alby raises a brow.

“Things aren’t working out for him?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” 

Alby nods and Minho nods too, awfully quiet. Minho doesn’t offer to help Nate like he offers to help Thomas, in fact, he turns back to Thomas. “So, you’re like incredible at math? I have to get you down to my offices, I mean, technology is more than just like- clicking buttons. I could teach you.”

Newt raises an eyebrow and Thomas laughs. “I mean, yeah, I like to think if I’ve gotten this far I’m pretty good at math. I mean… I don’t know, I never thought of getting a job with a corporation.”

“Listen man, we could be tight. Will you at least consider sending me your resume? Retail’s tough shit, all you gotta do is sit through meetings with me.”

“Aren’t you like- the CEO of your business?”

“Yeah?”

“Would I be a starting position?”

“Did I say that?” He asks Alby. 

“He never did say that.”

“What?”

“I never  _ said  _ you’d be starting, I said I’d get you in with us.”

Thomas nods, slowly. “Oh… actually?”

“Serious business bro.”

“We’re at dinner,” Newt decides, slowly. “We don’t do business at dinner.”

The two back off, and Thomas relaxes a little. The conversation returns light. 

\---

_ “So why do you love me, anyways? If I’m such a burden!” Newt recalls spitting at him and Nate seems to go into a panic. “Don’t you love me? You keep saying it. Keep saying that you love me but why? Why do you love me?”  _

_ Nate steps forward, takes his arms. “Hey, hey calm down. I love you because… you’re, you. And there is nobody like you, baby. What’s not to love?” _

_ Newt’s jaw sets. “That’s it? There’s nobody like me? What’s not to love? Well what  _ do  _ you love?” _

_ “I-” Nate hesitates and Newt yanks away from him, collecting Nate’s stuff. “Newt… what are you doing?”  _

_ “Leave-” _

_ “Newt, you’re overreacting-” _

_ Newt hands him his stuff. “Go.” _

_ “You didn’t even-” _

_ “You’re a fucking fake, okay? Don’t call me. Don’t text me. It’s over. Alright? Done.” _

_ Six months later, Nate came back with roses and a mixtape.  _

\---

Newt lights up a cigarette and pours himself a glass of scotch, trying to make sense of the obscurely dark picture. 3 months and his time with Nate was reduced to passive texts. Busy. Trying to work things out. Was there another body in the picture? It looked like another body. He tries to dismantle instagram pictures, find tagged people, look into their profiles, tried to follow them but decided he was too impatient and unfollowed. Each profile was accompanied by a shot. His cigarette burns out, and he’s drank more scotch than he’s willing to admit.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but god he hates waking up with a hangover and he hates that Nate still hasn’t called him. He can’t open the picture on snapchat again, lost forever in the void, as he tries to find his story. He was obviously doing  _ something  _ and why couldn’t he find a story? On either his snapchat or instagram? Nate always posted one. Why couldn’t he find anything? 

Newt half heartedly drops his phone to the floor and buries his face in his pillow. 

\---

Early October and Thomas’ “interview” with Minho turned out to be more of a coffee date between friends. In fact, the two got along really well. 

“God! Yes! I hate that, about all these retail places. It’s like low expectations for high effort jobs, and managers who think they can do anything. That’s so not right!” Thomas says and Minho nods.

“God, I worked in Express for like 3 years, and it was just about the worst. I got lucky- you know?”

“Yeah… I guess I’ve never been a lucky person.”

“I mean… the cards are in my favor. Being from a wealthy South Korean Family, being raised here, double status, world wide markets… I started on a leverage. I know that. Alby knows that, that he started on a leverage because his parents made it rich too. Newt knows that he wouldn’t have made it this far if his dad wasn’t paying tuition. We all…  _ know it _ . Just, we didn’t have to make it on our own and… we are. We’re making it.”

Thomas smiles, the flesh over his sharp cheekbones rounding as he does. “Well, I’m really proud of all three of you. I mean it.”

Minho smiles too. “You’re going to make it too, and I want to help you make it.”

“Why?”

“God… I dunno… you’re just different, you seem like you could work with me, as a  _ Runner.  _ That’s what I call my top tiers, Runners. They tackle whatever's in the Maze.”

It should be mentioned that Minho opened a tech company called “The Maze Corp” and he had strange names for everything. “What would I do?”

“I dunno… I’d figure it out, you would too.”

“How can you pay me if you don’t know what I do?”

“The same way I pay the rest of the people who work there?”

“Fair game.”

“So you’ll take the job? Quit that shitty job of yours.”

Thomas inhales and thinks for a moment. “How would Newt feel about it?”

“Why’s it matter?”

“I dunno, I just… he didn’t seem to like it when you brought it up at Dinner.”

“I don’t think Newt would mind you having a stable position. Besides, me and you could be great friends. I can feel it.”

“I accept, I’ll take the job.” 

\---

Newt and he have become accustomed to studying in the back of the library where they were often alone, usually with their headphones in, on the chairs across from each other. Working on notes, sharing markers and gel pens. Newt always sat towards the windows, heartbreakingly beautiful in the light as he worked through his med school coursework. What little hours they had together because Newt was often working in the lab or the hospital. Sometimes he would glance at his phone, with hope that something was there and he would find nothing. 

Sometimes he would shift from his chair across from Thomas to the one closest to Thomas, he’d turn up the music he was listening to, and he would rest his head on the table near Thomas’ arm. Thomas always wondered if Newt would mind him running a hand through his hair, or rubbing his back. And one day, he does, gently, afraid of reject, but Newt doesn’t jump at the touch along his shoulders, Tommy’s fingers dancing at the hair on the nape of his neck. He seems to deflate a bit, comforted. Thomas smiles in spite of it. 

\---

Newt hates that he always feels  _ empty  _ when he hangs up the phone with Nate. That nothing ever feels fulfilled, that he just feels like he’s lost every battle and every war. He’s tired. He’s so so tired, and it isn’t just because he’s finished work, it’s 3 am, the hospital has that strange luminescence to it, and he’s in the warmth of his car with the heat on it. He feels empty, and it makes him more tired than he’s ever felt. It makes him feel like nothing matters anymore. That nothing is worth it. 

Newt gets home, sheds his clothes, turns the shower on hot and curls up on the bathtub floor, trying to feel some sort of something, anything. Head pressed to the tile, his mind wanders to Thomas, with his soft, amber-like, sparkling eyes. With his toned body, with his sweet smile. Sharp cheekbones that had a natural contour to them, lips that pouted so cute. He smiles slightly, but he’s soon drawn back to his melancholy. 

_ God, do you have any faith in me at all Newt? _

_ Of course I do! How could I not? _

_ You know, I’m sick of fighting- is it really just all about the money with you? _

_ No! I just want you to feel like you’ve- _

_ And then Nate hung up.  _

He could hear the phone ringing now, and Newt let it ring. And ring. And ring. He let it, doesn’t move from the shower, replaying the scene in his head. He hates him. He hates Nate with all his heart. 

\---

Thomas offers him a candy from an open bag; it was quickly nearing Halloween, almost 3 months since Nate left. Almost, almost, almost. He wasn’t coming back until May. Supposedly. If things worked out. Or didn’t, Newt wasn’t really sure. Thomas bites his lip, thinking about a party he was invited to. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if they went together. As each others  _ dates _ ? 

Newt takes one and sucks on it, leaning his head on Thomas’ shoulder as he works on a diagram of the heart and its valves. Thomas leans his head back and their knuckles brush, inching to lace together but never do. Refraining. They don’t mention it. Don't mention that Newt takes so much comfort in Thomas, that it's hard to pull away. 

\---

He calls 3 times and Nate never answers. Newt wants to cry. 

Why is he shutting him out? What did he do wrong this time? What did he screw up to make Nate throw him away? Minho is on the couch, watching Newt stare helplessly at the contact. 

“Fuck him, man. You know he’s always been a flake. Dump him, you’ve got something  _ good  _ in front of you. I mean it.”

“Stop, please stop,” Newt whispers.

“Hey, this isn’t your fault.”

Minho moves so he’s on the couch Newt is on, sitting beside him, wrapping his arm around Newt, who folds into him, hand clasping his mouth as hair tickles Minho’s thigh. He’s resolved into sobs that shake his whole body. 

“Why doesn’t he love me, Minho?” Newt can’t help it, his whole body shakes and Minho presses his lips to the curve of his shoulder. “Why doesn’t he  _ love  _ me?”

\---

“I’ve thought long and hard about a lot of the plans I need to make for my life, and one of those plans was asking Newt to go to that Halloween party with me next weekend.”

“And...?” Frypan asks, looking to Thomas, Winston and Aris tuning in, alongside Ben and Chuck, who was a freshman. 

“And I’ve decided this is one of those ‘destiny-fate’ things, and that it’s out of my control and I should just, you know, ride it out, hope he wakes up and realizes he’s in love with me one day. Dump his stupid boyfriend and kiss me or something.”

Ben snorts. “That’s it? That’s your plan?”

“Yeah, that’s my plan.”

“That doesn’t just happen.”

“Okay but it could. I have no tactic to be like- hey, can you cheat on your shitty boyfriend and go out on this date with me to a party? He’d never talk to me again. He probably doesn’t even like me.” 

“How do you know?” Winston asks. “Maybe you’re like-  _ noor eyooni  _ or something?”

“What does that mean again?”

“Light of his eyes.” 

“Please, I doubt it. We’re friends, that’s it.”

“And tons of people say that, then they’re married.”

“What?”

“Like-” Frypan cuts in, thinking. “People are always like, ‘oh they don’t like me, we’re just friends’ and then they’re dating and then they’re like it. That’s it. They get married.”

“I don’t want to settle.”

“Man, you fall in love, you’re not settling.”

“I don't know if he could  _ love  _ me.”

“Your lovely,” Winston teases. “Man date him first.”

“If he wakes up and decides he loves me. Yeah, totally.”

“If he doesn’t?”

“Well I guess I’ll just have to learn to move on from perhaps the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.”

“Hey!” Winston whines. 

“Excluding  _ you  _ of course.”

“Of course.”

“Full of it, both of you are full of it,” Ben decides.

“Glad to know, thank you,” Thomas says. 

“So… you gonna go back to bed and wait for him to realize he loves or…?”

“Love comes and goes, GPA is forever, I have to study.”

“And it’s your turn to cook,” Frypan points out.

“And it’s my turn to cook.” 

\---

Newt burns all their photos in the barbecue outside, watching the center of his world for 3 years burn into flames. Gone, kissed by the fire he made in his barbecue on the balcony. Buried his love in the picture’s ashes Then throws the mixtape against the wall, breaks the vase by the kitchen in the process, they both are broken pieces, much like his heart, and his broken, burdened soul. He cries for 3 hours, until he can’t feel a thing, until he’s mostly just angry and empty. Nate always makes him feel so used up, so empty. Like he was nothing but a vacant parking lot in the middle of Nevada. 

He balls up all of Nates clothes that he left and threw them in a garbage bag and then threw them out. He considers driving to his apartment building to key his car. He doesn’t think he’s stable enough to drive. 

He deletes all their texts, and throws his phone, sobbing. He  _ hates  _ him. He  _ hates him.  _ Who does that? Who goes away, tied to a relationship and then creates a whole snapchat story about his  _ island lover _ , kissing with new found passion. Their shirts were suggestively undone. Newt  _ hates  _ him.

He hugs his couch throw pillow with the fuzzy bunny on it, rocking himself as he sobs into it. Takes hours before he goes to find his phone, the hard, shockproof phone case cracked, but his phone was fine. He blocks nate on all his social media. Deletes his number. His shaking hands just barely manage to call Minho. 

“Are you okay? Its 3 am.”

“He cheated on me.”

“I'll call Alby, be over in ten.”

\---

The three of them stay in Newts home all day, into the next evening. Newt chews his lip, reading over the 3 concerned texts he got from Thomas. Newt wants to tell him ‘come over,’ ‘I need you.’ He doesn’t. He doesn’t have the heart to do it. 

“He likes you,” Alby points out.

“Yeah he does…” Newt agrees, quietly. Minho pries Newts phone from his hand and turns the screen off. 

“Hey… don't think about any of it,” Minho soothes. “You're high strung, you don't need it.” 

“Is it messed up that… I just keep thinking about him? That I want him, and I want him to hold me and I want his attention? Is that messed up?”

“That's not messed up,” Alby assures. “Now come on, can't sulk without ice cream and an 80s movie.”

“You got Sam’s retreat ice cream for me?”

“It’s a fan favorite, just like you are, Sammy,” Alby replies and kisses his nose teasingly. Newt smiles softly, hugging his knees. 

“You’re the best friends a guy could ask for.”

“We’re always here for you, no matter the weather.” 

\---

Minho texts him first, before Newt ever even replies.  _ Things turned bad - cut off Nate - i took his phone but he's okay.  _ Thomas reads it and reads it again. He texts back  _ im confused?  _ And Minho responds  _ his boyfriend cheated and he dumped him you fuck  _ which didn’t really bother Thomas, because he came to find out Minho was like that. 

_ Thomas: oh… do you want me to come over? With like ice cream or something _

_ Minho: …. _

_ Minho: No I think he would be embarrassed. _

_ Thomas: Okay… lmk if you want me around _

_ Minho: trust me  _ Newt  _ wants you around, I just don’t think he’d know what to do with himself if you were _

Thomas’ brow furrows and he’s confused. He’s about to text back but decides against it. He doesn’t really want to find out what that means. Anyways, there goes any plan he had on bringing Newt to that party… if Newt would have even agreed. 

\---

Three days later, Minho and Newt are waiting for Alby to come over and Newt is just staring at his texts to Thomas. They haven’t talked in 4 days, and Newt feels bad. He misses him. The butterflies burst out of their cocoons and fill the cavity of his stomach, banging the lining, in contrast his chest glows with warmth at the thought of Thomas. At seeing him again, at watching him smile. Hearing his voice, his laughter at Newt’s stupid jokes. “Maybe I should ask him out,” Newt ponders aloud, saying it without thinking much into it. 

“Who?”

“Thomas.”

“What have I been saying?” Minho’s voice is laconic, easy going, head tilting to the side with affectionate eyes. “Brenda approved. You have full permission.”

“She okay? She wasn’t at work last night.”

“Yeah she got her period, gets real bad for her sometimes. I stayed home with her all night.”

“That’s sweet.”

“Ask him out.”

“What?”

“Now.”

“Wha-”

“Text him. Before you chicken out.”

“I won’t-”

“Do it,” Minho says, determined. Newt sighs and nods, biting his lip before typing out  _ Hey! We haven’t really talked in a while and well I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out this weekend on a date. _

“Hit send,” Minho encourages, obviously excited. 

Newt looks worried. “Does that sound good? That hardly sounds like something I would say… you know? Maybe I should insult him or put in something witty. What’s a witty one liner to get somebody to date you?”

“I’m not providing you with one because what you wrote works just fine!”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because I am sure. Just send the text.”

“Now?”

“Yes!” 

Newt takes in a deep breath and clicks send, the nerves spiking through him. What if he was wrong about Thomas? What if there wasn’t really anything between them? What if Thomas said no? He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. 

“Don’t overthink it,” Minho says.

“Not overthinking it.”

“You’re overthinking it!”

“I just- what if I was wrong?”

“About?”

“Him liking me back?”

“Are you kidding? He heart eyes you to the moon and back.” 

“Commitment, isn’t it?” 

“Exactly. He likes you.”

“God I hope so.”

\---

Thomas was just waking up from his nap, sleep still hanging off his limbs, begging him to stay in bed a little longer. Though his brain is flooded with endorphins as his phone goes off, and his bleary eyes are still heavy as he considers continuing to nap the rest of the evening. Cancelling his plans with Ben. He grabs his phone, to check the time, and is greeted by a text from Newt.  _ go out this weekend as a date.  _ His body turns on, sleep escapes him as if a ghost possessed slipped out of his body, and he throws the covers and tumbles his way into the living room of the apartment. Frypan and Winston look up at him, waiting for whatever it was to come from his mouth. 

Thomas just looks shocked and confused and Frypan snorts. “Morning sleeping beauty. The boogie man give you a visit?”

“Remember how I said that I might wake up one day and Newt will have asked me out?”

“Uhhh something like that, yeah,” Winston says. “Why?”

“Newt just sent me ‘Hey! We haven’t really talked in a while and well I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out this weekend on a date.’” 

Frypan and Winston both scramble up and run to Thomas to take a look at the text on his phone. “Well you have to say yes!” Frypan says and WInston nods exuberantly. 

“Hello! Why aren’t you texting him back! Say  _ yes _ !” Winston eggs on, dialogue falling quick off the tip of his tongue. 

“Because- I can’t text back too soon! Then I’ll seem desperate. Like I was  _ dying  _ for him to ask me. Or like I was just sitting there on my phone, waiting for him to text me.”

“You were sleeping-”

“How would he know that?” 

“Okay, calm down. We just… we gotta work out the best answer possible,” Frypan suggests, as he takes Thomas’ phone and they walk to the couch, Thomas dazed.

“You think he’s playing some kind of sick joke on me? Or like… maybe he just thinks he wants me because he’s all.. Stressed about breaking up with his boyfriend?” 

“I don’t think Newt would do that,” Winston says. “He seems like a really nice guy.”

“Yeah but… I don’t know- don’t you think- I just- what if it’s not real? What if Nate comes back and suddenly, I’m not it anymore?”

“How would you know if you are or aren’t  _ it  _ if you don’t say yes?” Frypan pokes.

Thomas struggles and as they sit down, they don’t realize they’ve called Newt, The phone perched between them, clicking the home button as it rings as they pick it up, not realizing the screen was still unlocked. Thomas doesn’t even notice the green bar at the top, hyper focused on the blue bubble that was Newt’s text. 

\---

Newt’s eyes widen, feeling panicked. “Minho’s he’s calling me- what does that mean? He’s calling me!”

“I don’t know! Brenda only ever calls me if she’s mad, and usually I answer and she’s ranting in spanish!”

“Well what do I do?”

“Answer it, Dumbass!”

Newt doesn’t think twice before answering the phone, and Minho whispers  _ sound cute,  _ which inevitably leads to Newts brow furrowing before he awkwardly delivers a painful, “Heyyyy Tommy?” To no avail though because it doesn’t even seem Thomas was listening to him. It doesn’t seem like Thomas meant to call him at all. In fact, it sounded like Thomas was  _ talking  _ about him. 

\---

“Newt is the best thing to ever happen to me- I can’t just text him back!”

“What do you mean you can’t just text him back?” Frypan asks

“Like- maybe I should agree in person!”

“Who does that? That’s weird! Y’all really going to walk up to him and be all, ‘hey, remember that text? The answer is yes!’ Like he’s not proposing!”

“If he proposed over text, that would be a whole new conversation,” Winston provides.

\---

“I think he butt dialed me,” Newt whispers, covering the speaker. He had this oddly sweet smile on his lips. 

“Put it on speaker, I wanna know why you’re smiling all cute and shit,” Minho whispers back and Newt shrugs, putting Thomas on speaker.

_ Maybe I should like… I don’t know reply with flowers?  _

\---

“You wanna reply with what?” Winston asks.

“Oh my god, Just text him back yes!”

“Right now?”

“If you reply tomorrow, he’s gonna think you hate him or something,” Frypan says.

“Maybe I should make a pro-con list?”

“About what?”

“Saying yes now verses saying yes later or in person.”

“The longer we talk about it, the later it is!”

“I’ve liked him since July! I can’t screw this up!”

Thomas picks up on a noise from his phone, a banging of some sort, a voice. He glances down to see the green bar along the top, eyes widening in horror, it very, very quickly disappears, signalling whoever it was hung up. 

\---

Alby walks in and shuts the door behind him, making a loud bang sort of noise as it does. Newt glancing up as Alby calls out a hello and he glances to the phone, horrified. Thomas must have heard- he quickly hangs up before he’s acknowledged. 

“Shit!” Newt whispers and Minho winces.

“Think he heard?”

“Probably! What do I do?”

“What did you do?” Alby asks, brow raising in concern.

“Uhm… I asked out Thomas, and he butt dialed me, but he was being cute, so we were listening to him on speaker, and well… I think he heard you walk in.”

“And…?”

“He doesn’t know I heard him say all that stuff!”

“So just call him back.”

“And say what?”

“That you’re sorry for eavesdropping or something?”

Newt feels panicked. “What if that doesn’t work? What if he never wants to talk to me again?”

“I highly doubt that’s the case, he probably didn’t even notice,” Minho reasons.

\---

Thomas did in fact notice. He took in stippled breaths as he read Newt’s name on the call list over and over again. “How could I do this! I’m such an idiot. Should I call him back? What should I say? How much do you think he heard?”

“I mean- probably not much right? He probably answered, realized you had called him by accident and hung up.”

“What if he heard all of that? Then he’ll know how absolutely pathetic I am!” 

“Maybe he didn’t hear any of it.”

“He at least heard me say I’ve liked him since July! Oh my god, I’m going to die. I can never face him again. I’m just going to go kill myself. That’s it, it’s over. I’m an eternal embarrassment-”

“Thomas he’s calling you,” Winston points out. 

“I can’t answer now!”

“You sure the hell are going to answer now!” Frypan says, answering before Thomas can reject.

“H-hello?”

\---

Newt bites his lip before pressing call. It takes him 5 rings to answer. 5 exactly, he’s not really sure if he can take the rejection again but Thomas answers and he sounds so  _ nervous _ . Poor baby, Newt thinks, biting his lip. What does he say now?

“So… I mean, pro-con lists are fucking stupid, so if you could just text me back yes… I would really appreciate that,” He says, wincing and he could basically hear Thomas’ dumbstruck nod. He can visually. He’s stuttering. “I’m just going to hang up before I embarrass myself anymore, so if we could pretend this never happened, and you just text me back yes, again like… I’d really appreciate-”

\---

“Wait,” Thomas cuts in. “Don’t hang up. I- I would love to go out with you this weekend.”

Newt laughs on the other hand, as if he’s shocked and Thomas feels his heart speed up, he wills it to be steady but it doesn’t quite work. He sort of feels like he might explode. “Then how’s Saturday at two?”

“Saturday at two?” 

“What’s wrong with Saturday? People go out on Saturdays!”

“Yeah, people go out on Saturdays but who goes out at  _ two  _ o’clock?” 

“Two is a perfectly great time to go out!”

“Two is two hours from when I wake up on a Saturday!” 

“Well, now it’s four.”

“Four o’clock?”

“Nooo, four hours from when you wake up, silly.”

Thomas huffs. “Two on Saturday, as long as next week we’re not having sex on Sunday at 3.”

“Ew that’s when Christian parents have vanilla sex to ‘maintain healthy relationships’ while their kids are at sunday school!”

Thomas can faintly hear Newt’s friends asking questions. He laughs. “Yeah, okay, that was the point.”

“Then I’ll see you Saturday?”

“Yeah. See you Saturday.” Thomas hangs up, and he looks a lot more than dazed. 

“Who makes sex dates like that?”

“God, I don’t know, I never plan this far ahead in life,” Thomas says. “I mean… at least, not when other people are concerned.”

There’s a casual laughter that passes, Thomas sitting awestruck, hardly believing what had just happened to him. “Hey Win, you’re right, God must be real.”

“He is, we’ve talked.”

“What’s he say about you?”

Winston shrugs. “Mashallah Alayeh. You think I know what God has to say about me?”

“You said you talked.”

“I do most of the talking.”

Thomas nods. “Tell him I said thank you.”

\---

Newt picks him up as promised, Saturday, at exactly 2. Thomas walks out, dressed in a blue plaid and jeans. Ironically enough, Newt is wearing a vaguely similar outfit. Newt watches Thomas get into the car, and they don’t say anything for a few minutes, just sitting in silence. 

“So… uhm… I know… Maybe this… seems soon?”

“Yeah a little… are you sure this is-”

“Yes. I’m sure. I uh… I think I’ve liked you a lot longer than I was willing to admit, you know? I was so… determined he would be better that I thought- well, how could I just leave him? But everytime I left the house, you were there to comfort me. You came everytime I called, your eyes look like caramel chocolates in summer lighting- and a little bit like whiskey? Do you know how much I love whiskey? You’re a man made of my favorite thing in the whole goddamn world. You’re telling me, you could be made of whiskey and I refuse to be deprived of them.”

“I don’t cum whiskey if that makes you feel any better.”

“Hm… I don’t know that it does.”

“So, okay- you like me because I have nice eyes?”

“No…” Newt laughs, softly, he leans back. “I like you because… I don’t know… you feel different. Does that make any sense? I liked you because everything with you felt… nice. It felt comfortable. And the more I knew you, the closer I wanted to be with you.” Newt pauses. “I guess I sort of started to realize in August, that I saw you as… more than just my friend. But Nate… I don’t know- he always got to me. I was convinced by him that things would get better, that we’d work it out. No matter how much we fought.”

“And now…?”

Newt shrugs. “Now I guess I can accept I like you a lot more than I was willing to admit?” 

Thomas nods. “So… you’re sure about this?” 

“Yes, I’m sure about this.”

“And did you think any plans through?”

“I did actually, I picked out a really cute place for us to go. It has a- uhm… a southern charm.”

“Because I’m so southern?”

“Because you’re so charming. Everybody knows a southerner has charm.”

“Like Alby?”

“Like Alby. Although sometimes you have the mouth of a Jersey Boy, like Minho.”

Thomas takes Newt’s hand, and Newt looks up at him. “I’m okay. Honestly.”

“Good… I want you to be happy. I don’t know… everything about your relationship with Nate but… I know he was a bad guy. He was bad for you.”

“I don’t want to talk about him.”

“We don’t have to. Come on Newt,” Thomas encourages. “Let’s go.” 

\---

Kissing. Newt can’t remember the last time he enjoyed kissing somebody, felt like he was 16, being kissed in the back of that Seniors car again. Except he was 23 and a little drunk at 5 PM, kissing Thomas in the back seat of his car in the parking lot of the southern restaurant he had taken Thomas to. Thomas was a good kisser, his tongue just right against Newt’s, hand cupping Newt’s neck, the other along his hip, rubbing gently. 

They hardly break to breathe, Newts arms wrapping around Thomas’ strong body. Thomas parting to Newts dismay. “We should probably go soon…”

“Our clothes are still on, they can’t do anything.”

Thomas laughs. “But you’re tipsy, and you get cold when you get drunk.”

“One time! It was raining!” 

“No, babe, you were standing by the fountain, wasted, after camp that one night.”

“And it was cold.”

“It was 93 degrees.”

“That’s deadly.”

“In American, Newt.”

“One more kiss.”

Thomas laughs, kissing him as Newt pulls him back in to kiss him. Elated, infatuated with each other. They didn’t want to part, Newt pulling at his shirt as he attempts to keep sitting up. They break apart giggling. 

“You had  _ too  _ much fancy wine.”

“It was good wine.”

“Always an excuse with you.”

“You like me,” Newt cooes.

“I do like you.”

Newt kisses him once more. “Gonna drive?”

“Not in the mood to die on my first date with a hot british guy. Looks bad.”

Newt scoffs. “Less American.”

“Yeah deducts from my American points.”

“Pity. So I guess I’ll have to let you drive.”

Newt leans back, away from Thomas, who smiles and kisses Newt’s flushed cheek. “You’re a little more than tipsy.”

“Favorite drunk movie is Sixteen Candles. It’s in my drunk movie bundle.”

“You got it.”

\---

“He’s  _ perfect _ ,” Newt insists dreamily to Alby, taking a fry and biting into it. “And everything he does is just a little sexy, you know? Like okay- He offered my a cigarette and I got a little hard watching him flip open the box.”

“How is that a turn on? I really, I wish I could find somebody that makes me  _ this whipped _ . Flipping open a cigarette box?”

“He had a tecnique to it! There was flare! Pizazz, if you will. And after he takes the first drag he sort of tilts his head up a little so you get this perfect look at his jaw, which by the way, could cut somebody.”

“You’re so whipped,” Alby says again, taking from the box of fries he got Newt. Newt nods, slowly, as he chews.

“I am whipped.” He pauses, chewing on another fry and Alby can see he’s forming a thought. Can see that Newt’s head is working something out, eyes squinting a bit. “I think this is the first time in 3 years that I’ve felt genuinely cared for by somebody, and I really, really like that feeling.”

“But?” Alby asks.

“Maybe he’ll get sick of me too.”

“Hey, don’t do that to yourself,” Alby approaches calmly. “Listen, Nate only loved you when you threatened to leave, or when he needed money, or sex, or he had nobody else. You are an amazingly kind, gentle person, with such a big heart, and wit, and personality. That man didn’t deserve you then, and he doesn’t deserve you now. Understand me? Thomas is not like him, I can tell.” 

Newt nods, smiling to himself. “And he’s a much better kisser,” Newt teases, mostly to lighten the mood. He hates feeling like a  _ burden  _ but god, he tends to be anyways. 

“See? Already better than Nate.”

\---

It was just supposed to be a simple date: dinner and a movie. Then Newt invited him back over for coffee, and Thomas grabbed his waist, kissed him slowly, softly at first. Until Newt was pressed against the small wall of the entryway to the kitchen, his legs wrapped around Thomas grinding as they made out. His head tilting over at Thomas moves to kiss his neck. Their clothes come off like a trail of breadcrumbs to the bedroom. Mostly naked and pressed to his bed, Newt didn’t feel like he was just  _ taking  _ something. Or that this was selfish. Or that it meant nothing. 

Thomas meant every kiss he pressed to his body, as if Newt was something sacred, something special to him. Newt melting into the mattress as small flits of pleasure sparked his skin, as Thomas worked his way down his stomach. Thomas licks appreciatively up his vaguely lined abs and Newt breathes in, a sharp intake of breath. Every part of him felt alive. Like his blood was boiling hot. 

Newt tugs Thomas’ hair, trying to pull him back up and Thomas laughs softly. “You’re impatient.”

“You’re  _ hot.  _ What did you expect?” 

Thomas raises a brow, making his way back up Newt’s body and nuzzling the space underneath his jaw, before locking his lips there on the junction between his jaw and his neck. Newt smiles in lazy appreciation, enjoying what was given to him. Thomas’ body was warm, and in a way, courser than his, more defined muscle, and definitely hairier. Which, Newt didn’t really expect, because he was so fresh faced and always clean shaven. 

“You’re staring.”

“I’m trying to imagine you with a beard,” Newt says, squinting playfully and they both laugh, softly, before meeting in another kiss.

“How’s the image of me with a beard?”

“Don’t think I like it much. I like you how you are.”

“What if I grew one out?”

“Well… I wouldn’t be too mad about it then, either…” He cups Tommys face, tilts his head and squints again. “Or maybe I would… I don’t know.”

Thomas laughs, kissing the pad of Newt’s thumb, which is dangerously close to his lips and Newt watches him with a wildly affectionate, somehow dangerously lusty, gaze. 

“God, I could totally fuck you,” Thomas admits, and Newt can feel Tommy’s boner against his leg, his brow quirking as he glances down. Their hips are dangerously close to touching and Newt bites his lip before looking up. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve been fucked, so you’re certainly welcome to,” Newt offers. Thomas laughs.

“What? Nate wasn’t big enough?”

“Nate was like… I dunno, four inches on a good day? 2 on a bad day? 3 usually.”

“Can you shrink like that? Is that a thing dicks do now? Flucuate depending on the mood?”

Newt laughs. “I don’t know, it’s how it felt.”

“Sad,” Thomas sympathizes.

“Yeah, well, let’s see how you compare, Mister Edison.”

“Kinky!”

“Oh stop, I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Yeah? Geez, when I get a teaching job, it’s going to be real awkward for me knowing my boyfriend calls me  _ Mr. Edison  _ in bed.”

“No! Oh my god- Thomas!” Newt playfully smacks his chest, and Thomas laughs, the two pressing foreheads, kissing between small laughs, which die into moans as they grind into each other, and Newt doesn’t think he could last very long if Thomas keeps up like this, and his whole body is burning with the anticipation of Thomas being inside him. 

He pulls away from the kiss they were locked in, and twisted his body towards the night stand. “You said you wanted to fuck me.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Newt digs up his lube, and offers it to Thomas. “Or do you prefer to watch?” Newt says and Thomas snatches it from Newt, who’s got this mischievous grin on his face.

“No reason I can’t watch  _ and  _ finger fuck you. I’m great at multitasking.”

Newt rolls his eyes, but smiles soft anyways. His underwear is soon gone, legs spread as Thomas kneels between his legs, a mess of lube on his fingers as he manages to stretch Newt open enough, gets him just close enough to the edge, and Newt is almost disappointed he doesn’t get to cum. Brought down from his high as Thomas moves back up to kiss him, and Newt is pulling desperately at Thomas’ briefs. 

“Take them off,” Newt mumbles and Thomas obliges, climbing off the bed to undress. Newt’s eyes never leave him.

And okay, Newt was  _ not  _ expecting Thomas to be  _ that  _ above average in size. He bites his lower lip, eyes trailing the length of his body. Every dirty thought he’s ever possibly had ever floods his mind, and his cheeks rose in color as he considers leaning over to kiss his tip. He feels self conscious because he doesn’t know if Thomas is a dirty kind of person, if he’d even  be okay with it, and Newt feels too awkward to ask,  _ hey, mind if I suck your dick out of the appreciation I have for your size?  _ He wasn’t about to do that, at least, not their first time. Next time though… well, he’ll have to burn that bridge when he gets there.

“You okay?” Thomas asks. “I thought you were all- into sex or whatever, you’re being really quiet.”

“What?”

“You just got really shy, and blushy, and quiet.”

“I really like you, I don’t really have sex often with people I really like.”

Thomas nods, moving forward to kiss Newt, who’s adjusted to his knees. He pulls away and plops himself onto the bed, grabbing for the lube and a condom before sitting back up, Thomas climbing back on and Newt adjusts so he’s propped nicely against a pillow, legs spreading welcomingly. Thomas thinks he looks happy, and happy is a nice look for Newt. 

“I wanted to- apply the lube,” Newt says, almost awkward, and Thomas nods, watching as Newt adjusts to do just that, rolling on the condom, smearing the lube on his hand, and he gives Thomas a few solid pumps before leaning back into the pillows he’s set up to lean on. Thomas adjusts so he’s hovering over Newt, lifting one of his legs, and he glances up at Newt, waiting for reassurance. “Go on,” Newt whispers and Thomas is so  _ gentle  _ at first. 

He pushed in, ever so slowly, keeping Newt’s leg up, balancing it up along his hips. Newt exhales as he almost bottoms out, stopping just short of it, and they wait in a small silence, before they’re both giggling because it’s so weird that they’re quiet. They’re never  _ quiet.  _ Their laughter is breathless, and warm on the others skin. Newt wraps an arm around Thomas’ neck, kissing him affectionately. 

“Move,” he whispers, and Thomas nods, starting to thrust in small juts, pulling out just slightly before pushing back in, and repeating. Each time, he pulls out just a little more, letting Newt adjust to the feeling and Newt is a bundle of gasps and sighs, and small, quiet moans, eyes shut and temple gently resting against the pillow. He was so vividly alive, that Thomas could have swore he’d never seen Newt breathe before, that he was a whole new brand of person when he gasped, back arching, chest rising. His hips never really seemed to stop moving.

“Faster,” Newt begs, and Thomas is nobody to say no to the blond beauty beneath him. His control slips the more Newt’s own control slips, lost in each other, lost in their moans and delirious, sex touched smiles, in their panting breaths between kisses. Thomas thinks that Newt coming is the most holy experience he has ever had. Or akin to. And it’s not that nobody else has ever made him feel this good during sex, Thomas thinks he’s had plenty of good sex before but this was… different.

He’s almost afraid to keep going, because he’s already stimulated Newt so much, he doesn’t want to  _ hurt him _ . Though Newt is melting into the bed, and tugging on his arm. He leans in to kiss Newt, and Newt only tolerates it briefly.

“Keep going.”

“What?”

“You haven’t cum yet,” Newt says.

“So?”

“So? The last time I had good sex was like… I don’t know? Six ish months ago? You definitely can keep going.”

“Really?”

“I have the sexual stamina of a porn star sometimes, and right now? This is one of those times.”

Thomas is suddenly certain that he’s going to cum more than once tonight. “Seriously?”

“Yes, now fuck the living daylights out of me or we’re never having sex again.”

Who was Thomas to oppose? (He was only just a man, after all.) 

\---

Newt doesn’t see his friends for a week, between work and dates with Thomas and med school. So when they do get together the following week, they’re in Minho’s apartment, eating Nachos as they catch up.

“Me and Thomas finally had sex,” Newt says after a while. 

“And you didn’t tell us all about right after it happened?”

“Well the first time, we went for like… I don’t know? 2 hours? Breaks included, I don’t know what it would be without the breaks, but I couldn’t feel my legs for a good… day or two. It was a real ‘wow’ experience,” he says.

Minho laughs. “A wow experience?”

Newt nods, slowly. “His dick was so good my credit score changed.”

“Shit,” Minho says. “Let me take  _ him  _ for a spin. I want my credit score to change.”

Alby scoffs. “You don’t even like guys, Minho.”

“Yeah but I could if magic dick is involved.”

“His dick  _ was _ magic,” Newt argues. 

Alby picks a jalapejo pepper off his nacho and pops it in his mouth, shaking his head. Minho offers Newt from his guac and Newt dips a cheesy chip in it.

“I could totally be bisexual then,” Minho says. “I want to experience his magic powers. Learn his secrets.”

“You’re rich and well off,” Alby points out.

“All he needs is a magic dick now,” Newt teases. “But no, I’m not sharing. He’s mine, I’ve claimed him. Have you seen how cute he is? Definitely not sharing. Then you’ll never give him back.”

“Awwwh, Newty is in  _ love _ .”

Newt blushes but he doesn’t protest. Alby changes the topic for Newt’s sake.

\---

Thomas didn’t know what it was, but the more he was around Newt, who had infectious laughter and was endlessly kind, the better of a person he wanted to be. The more he wanted to just be kind to people, and see the good in people, and… look, not that he shouldn’t be a good person on any normal day, but Newt made people seem like they had so much more potential than they did. Newt was a superhero, he saved people.

Thomas can’t save people, so instead, he pays for the coffee of the woman in front of him, and even buys a dozen donuts for her two kids. The smile on her face made him happy, and was he saving a life? No. But it was nice to do a good thing, every now and again. 

\---

_ “So why can’t you tell me? What are you hiding on your phone that I can’t use it?” _

_ “I’m not hiding anything, you’re just paranoid, Newt. You’ve got all this shit in your head, seriously. What is with you?” _

_ “With me? You’re-” _

_ “I’m not doing anything! I can’t have friends?” _

_ “I never said that-” _

_ “Not that you like my friends-” _

_ “I just want you to talk to me! Why can’t you talk to me?” _

_ “I do talk to you!” _

_ “About nothing! You hide things-” _

_ “Jack. Shit.” _

_ “You do!” _

_ “You’re freaking crazy, okay? I’m not hiding anything.” _

_ “Then show me your phone.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “Show me your phone.” _

_ “You have your own-” _

_ “What’s on there?” _

_ “Nothing-” _

_ Newt tries to grab it and Nate shoves him away.  _

_ “Will you cool it? You’re fucking delusional.” _

_ “Fuck you. I’m leaving.” _

_ “No… Newt, wait, come here baby.” He grabs at Newts arm and Newt whips around. _

_ “Stop- Stop touching me!”  _

_ “You’re not going to really be like this-” _

_ “I am, and I’m going home. Call me when you decide I’m good enough.” _

\---

Newt looks back on his second break up with Nate and looks to Thomas who’s on his phone, texting in a group chat. “What’s that?” he asks softly, watching Thomas. 

“A group chat about my Geometry professor. We all sort of hate him.”

Newt nods. “Hey…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t… I don’t want us to keep any secrets from each other. Or lose touch over Christmas holiday, or… feel like suddenly, because we’re apart for the holidays, we’re in an open relationship-”

“We’re not in an open relationship,” Thomas quickly cuts in. “I’m not going to leave you, and I’m going to call you, I promise. Maybe you’ll even find me in London, if I get lonely enough.”

“London’s expensive, so no, you wouldn’t.”

“Your right… I wouldn’t. But I would facetime you and pretend to be.”

Newt laughs, kissing him quick, and soft. “No secrets?”

“No secrets.” 

\---

Thomas gets home tired, it was a week before he left for Christmas, he had finished his last final, and had worked all day before going in for it. He settles on the couch beside Winston, and he texts Newt back, biting his lip. There was something about Newt that gave him a refreshed sense of purpose, a reason to try and achieve more than he had to. 

“I think… I think I want to start looking for spaces for my coffee shop.”

Winston looks up and nods. “Why?”

Thomas shrugs. “Well… why not? Then I’d know how much money I needed to save, how much time and work I’d have to put in…”

“Are you thinking ahead, like years ahead?”

“I have to don’t I?”

Winston whistles. “Never done that before.”

“Just… I want to live my best life, and I guess, I also, want to be able to be successful.”

“In the case that you end up getting married or something?”

“Yeah… I don’t… I don’t want to disappoint, you know?”

“Disappoint who?”

Thomas shrugs, thinking for a moment. “Disappoint anybody, in general.” 

“Well you’re not disappointing me.”

“It doesn’t hurt to plan ahead.”

“I guess you’re right. It doesn’t hurt at all.” Winston rests a hand on Thomas’ shoulder and rubs. “In Shaa Allah Khair, bro.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Good luck, basically, or like congrats.”

Thomas nods. “Say it again.”

“Don’t even bother trying to say it, I’ll just cry.”

“Fair. Okay.”

\---

February is the first time they fight. And Newt was internally preparing himself for a breakup, a breakdown, for Thomas to tell him every bad thing about himself. Just like Nate used to. 

“I just want you to call!” Thomas yells. “Or text or something! It’s not that hard!”

“It’s not that big of a deal!”

“It is to me! Don’t you care that I’m here waiting for you? God… what if something had happened to you? How would I know if you don’t tell me you’re okay?”

“I was fine! I was just working. I got caught up, that’s all.”

“Well next time get less caught up, and text me.”

“Okay,” Newt says, flustered, putting the popcorn down. They settle on the couch, not touching, both of their arms crossed, Thomas putting the TV on to watch their movie. 

“You’re so fucking stupid sometimes, you’re a selfless  _ idiot _ ,” Thomas decides and Newt looks at him with wide scared eyes. “I don’t care who’s hurt, I don’t care who needs you, I want to be important to you- I want you to call me when you can’t make it. I don’t  _ want _ to be scared that you’re hurt or not okay or avoiding me. I want you to know that somebody is at home waiting for you, whether you like it or not. I’m here, and I’m staying, and you better fucking text me before the next time you decide to disappear like that.” 

Newt is oddly quiet,  processing what Thomas says. Thomas could’ve said a million things, Thomas could have said anything. Thomas could have used  any reason, Thomas could have used a blade to cut Newt in half, and he didn’t. And Newt doesn’t know what to do with that kind of information. 

“I’m sorry,” Newt says after a moment. “I’ll try to text you next time something like that comes up… I’ll get better at it.”

“Thank you,” Thomas says, rolling his eyes a bit, his attitude still haughty and Newt tilts Thomas’ head and kisses the corner of his lips. 

“Thank you, to you too.”

“Why are you thanking me?”

“Because…” Newts brow furrows, and he can’t quite seem to form the words. “Because… you’re nice about everything, and you really don’t have to be.”

Thomas raises a brow and Newt just cuddles into him, feeling Thomas’ body soften beneath him and wrap an arm around Newt’s back. 

“I love you, you know?” Thomas whispers, voice wavering scared and Newt looks up at him, eyes narrowing.

“Why do you love me?”

Thomas pauses, for a moment. “Because I see you, and I want to be the best person I could possibly be in this life, for you. For us. I took that job with Minho because it meant I could be closer to you, not just so I could accomplish my dreams. I took the high paygrade so I knew that if it came down to it, I could help support us. I see my future with you, I have never met anybody  _ like  _ you. And okay, I’ve loved other people before, but it was so much harder… you know? It felt like work, and I felt tired of the life I was living with them after a few months. But I’m never tired of you. You’re everything to me. And I wake up, and I know that you’re waiting for me, somewhere. Okay? I love you, because you make me a better person, whether you know it or not. Ever since we started dating, I became… better, in the best way possible. You changed me, and every moment I spend with you awes me to no end, because you are always amazing, you are always striking and wonderful and lovable. What is there to not love about you?”

Newt was near tears, their eyes locking and Newt smiles a watery smile. “I could name a few things…”

“Yeah, well nobody's perfect, babe.”

“Hey Thomas?”

The use of his full name sort of scares him, but he looks up from his fidgeting hands anyways. His eyes seem to be darting nervous, waiting for Newt to finish.

“I love you too.”

\---

They were playing twenty questions, instead of studying for spring finals and Thomas tilts his head up as he exhales the smoke from his cigarette. Newt watches Thomas with warm eyes, waiting for his question. 

“What’s the most shameful thing you’ve ever done?” Thomas finally asks, and Newt thinks for a moment before bursting into giggles.

“I can’t tell you,” he decides, smiling.

“Why?” Thomas asks, leaning forward inquisitively, a queriful smile on his lips.

“Because you’ll hate me.”

“What?”

Newt shakes his head, laughing softly. “I can’t tell you!”

“Why not?” Thomas asks, laughing now too. Newt’s laughter was infectious. Newt couldn’t stop laughing, shaking his head as he bent over his crossed legs. “Newt! What did you do!” 

Newt shook his head. “It’s dirty, you’re going to yell at me!”

“Newt! We promised we wouldn’t keep secrets-” Thomas teases, Newt smacking his hand, before they lace fingers.

“You fucking asshole!” He says laughing, face turning red, and Thomas is laughing too, still. “You can’t use that against me.”

“Just say it!”

Newt shakes his head before taking a deep breath. “Okay… This is not a kink-”

“What do you mean-?”

“So… after my second to last break up with Nate, I noticed my one grade in this one class was pretty low- WAIT don’t say anything! Okay, let me finish, so I noticed it was low, and well the prof was gay, everybody knew it, and he was  _ hot  _ so I figured, what? I suck dick once, get my grade up and go. But no… no, we ended up, sort of in a relationship, because if I cut him off, my grade would just drop again. So… I ended up in a sexual relationship with a teacher for 3 months to keep my A average.”

Thomas is biting back his laughter, swallows hard. “So… You  _ do  _ have a teacher kink.”

Newt smacks him with a pillow, the two giggling, Newt taking Thomas’ cigarette and taking a drag. “I’m not proud of what I did!”

“But you have one.”

“No! You just- happened to me an education major. That’s totally different!”

“Is it though?”

“Yes!”

“Besides, I didn’t even really like him. It was all about power and control.”

“Nerd.”

Newt sticks his tongue out at Thomas, only to get kissed. “You’re a jerk,” He tells Thomas.

“Yeah, I’m  _ your _ jerk.” 

\---

It seems to have surpassed Newt that eventually, Nate would come back, like ever. Nates existence in the past two months had seeped out of his system, and he was so dreamily in love, even if their relationship wasn’t perfect, that he had forgotten what it was like to be exhausted with the person you were supposed to love. He was supposed to love Nate, but he never really did. 

So now, it’s late April, and they were preparing for finals. Except, Newt needed to do some serious food shopping, so Thomas agreed to hit Trader Joes, Whole Foods, and The Farmers Market with him to replenish his depleted food stock. He’s leaving the library, the long strap of his bag hanging over his shoulder, the bag resting at his thigh, heavy with his two, 3 inch binders of notes he’s been studying. 

That’s when he bumps into somebody, just outside the building. Nate.

“Uhhh hello! What a great welcome back! What’s been going on with you? Not returning any of my calls, not posting on instagram or anything? Seriously, I’ve been concerned, I thought you went off the grid like those crazy scientists or something. Like you really  _ had  _ lost it.”

“Concerned?” Newt asks, anger welling in his chest. “You were concerned? It didn’t occur to you that I had just blocked you everywhere? Ignored all your calls?”

“Wha-”

“You know why!”

“Oh, god, are we really doing this in public? I just got home- where are you going?” He asks as Newt storms off.

“No! No, somebody ignores your calls for six months, you’re broken up!”

“We are not broken up! I did everything you asked-”

Newt stops in his long strides, a fire in his eyes. “I asked you to cheat on me?”

“Cheat on you?”

“Oh don’t pull that bullshit- I saw you with that guy! You posted it everywhere! Your ‘Island Lover,’ that was just so irresistible. The one you replaced me with while ignoring my calls, forgetting to get back to my texts.”

Thomas spots them and approaches them, he can see the anger dancing in the flames of Newt’s dark eyes, how his jaw sets. He stands just a couple feet away and he isn’t entirely sure if Newt even knows he’s there.

“Oh that guy didn’t mean anything to me! If you’d known how lost I was-”

“Lost you were? Lost-”

“Without you babe!”

“You can’t call me that,” Newt bites. “We were through, everything between us is over, you chose another guy-”

“I was stupid, okay? I need you in my life- I  _ love  _ you.”

Thomas is watching all of Newt’s walls crumble and his crossed arms begin to lower before something seems to click in him, and suddenly Newt just looks very sad. Thomas feels sad, witnessing the tell-tale fights he used to hear of at the summer camp last year. It was different in person. 

“You’re a bloody liar and you know it.”

“No I’m not… I mean it, you know I mean it. You said you wanted a life together, for me to get stable and I did- I did it for  _ you _ .”

Thomas is panicking, he’s thinking that Nate is going to convince him, that Newt doesn’t even think he’s watching, that he’ll run to him, kiss him, believe Nate’s every word, only to get hurt. Because he ‘loved’ him, because he talked good, boasted empty words as if they had meaning.

“Newt… I need you in my life.”

Newt’s brow furrows and Nate kneels on one knee, pulling out a ring box, and Newt is so visibly shocked. “What is that?”

“A ring… I want you to stay with me forever, please- don’t do this to me. Don’t leave. You know I would never knowingly hurt you. Yes I was drunk and stupid that night, yes I shouldn’t have done it, just say yes and I’m yours. Yours forever.”

Newt looks like he might collapse and Thomas feels his heart clench as he watches Newt. Newt visibly swallows, and Thomas watches him take the ring box, the urge to sob shutting his throat, but Newt shuts it, grabs his lighter, holds it to the box until it catches flame, and then throws it in a garbage can there in front of everybody. Burning their love to pieces, the way Nate had burned his every hope and dream when they were together. 

Newt then kneels down in front of him, and smiles coyly. “I guess I really am a little bit of a psycho bitch,” he whispers before standing. “Now if you don’t mind, I have a date with my boyfriend to get to. He’s going to love  _ this. _ ” 

\---

“You mean you saw that whole thing and didn’t even tell me? You just let me tell you that whole story?”

“I knew you wanted to tell it,” Thomas says as they sit in the Whole Foods cafeteria, at the tables that were way too tall for any human being. Newt smiles, offering Thomas a sip of his Honey Latte. “Besides, you tell it a lot better than how it actually happened.” 

Newt laughs. “Well, now that you  _ have  _ seen the ring, it’s only fair you get me an even better one when you propose.”

“You want me to propose?”

“Not anytime soon, I think I’ve had enough proposals to last me a while… but I wouldn’t mind marrying you eventually.”

Thomas laughs. “Is it my magic dick?

“Minho told you I said that!”

“Yeah and I’ve kept it in all this time.”

Newt rolls his eyes embarrassed and Thomas grins. 

“You really think we’re gonna last, Newt?”

“You make me better, as you once said to me, so  _ yes _ . I do.” 

Thomas nods. “Newt?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for picking me.”

“Thomas? Thank you for staying.”

“Staying beside you, has the biggest honor.”

And he kisses Newt, Newt who was sweet and tender and heart broken. Newt who was nothing spectacular but everything spectacular. Newt who had been too insecure to find love, after Nate. Who did things he wasn’t supposed to sometimes. Thomas loved Newt, and they weren’t too sure about the future, about what would come, but right now, they were sure about each other. 

In this world, so little was to be loved, so little love was given. All people did was fuck with their lovers heads, and play games. So rare was it, that you found somebody who made you feel special. Thomas and Newt were lucky, to have each other, because love was really such a goddamn great thing to have in this cruel world. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this! It was something a little different I think?? Please don't forget to comment, I always appreciate your amazing comments!   
> Thank you so much again, for all the love and support from ALL of my reoccuring readers, and even my new ones! You're all amazing. I promise to update my ongoing fics soon, thank you for your patience, and I really hope you liked this!


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